mohandasgandhi:

Is Monogamy a Myth?

A Daily Beast article reviews other articles and books arguing that standard monogamy is obsolete. Ana Kasparian and Michael Shure discuss.

From the Daily Beast article:

But Pamela Haag, the author of Marriage Confidential, isn’t so quick to call the whole thing off. Marriage is changing, she contends. But rather than giving up on it, why not simply redefine it in a way that works for each of us? Haag cites research showing that 65 percent of women—and a whopping 80 percent of men—say they’d cheat if they knew they wouldn’t get caught.

I don’t believe human-beings are biologically monogamous but they don’t need to be dishonest with one another. I personally think a lot of relationships fail when dishonesty is introduced into the equation.

Am I in the minority here? If my partner and I were in a closed monogamous relationship, there’s no way I would cheat on them - it’s beyond disrespectful. 

A lot of the comments for this video and article contain people freaking out. I think it’s important to take this stuff with a grain of salt and just not listen to other people when it comes to your relationships with others - or at least not take it too seriously. Your mind will explode.

What do you guys think? Is monogamy obsolete or are their multiple ways to make human-relationships work?

Related to my interests… to read/water later.

Notes

  1. bluehospitality answered: Cheating is a no-no, obviously, but there IS polyamory for some people. (Committed relationships, but more than one at a time)
  2. finaldraft answered: I think a lot of people get into serious relationships without knowing what kind of person they’re truly looking for.
  3. international-nerd answered: Whatever works for a particular relationship is what works for them. I don’t think we should be trying to police relationships.
  4. petercelloxiong answered: I think that the answer is not something we could ever have a %100 assurance about. For example, it depends on the individuals in a marriage.
  5. missyankovic answered: Couples should do what’s best for both of them. However, I would never be “the other woman.” I deserve better, as does everyone else.
  6. philphys reblogged this from mohandasgandhi and added:
    I think primarily the reason why many people will cheat is that the whole tradition of marriage is incompatible with...
  7. thegrrl answered: I can’t imagine cheating on my partner. He is my best friend. There is not a one good excuse for cheating.
  8. faithkirsten answered: Monogamy is most definitely not obsolete, I am living proof of this.
  9. evo-ifc reblogged this from mohandasgandhi
  10. jonathan-cunningham answered: I think it’s almost entirely obsolete and is currently enforced artificially through mass media.
  11. watersavvy said: After seeing a very large group of people together yesterday at a baseball benefit, no it’s not myth. Living the life of a spinster (guy or gal) might be more acceptable but monogamy still prevails. Happiness among the monogamous maybe another ?
  12. anonemouse answered: I’ll join you in the minority on this one - I’d never cheat, though I do think honest non-monogamous relationships can work
  13. four2 said: attempt 2: For me, marriage is just a stronger companionship. I’m straight, but I could have a “gay marriage” under my views, which I guess implies polygamy. Monogamy isn’t obsolete, it’s simply not necessary. I dunno if I’m alone in that respect.
  14. four2 answered: For me, marriage just a stronger companionship. could have a “gay marriage” under my definition, which i guess implies poly
  15. enviablememory answered: If you’ve made an agreement not to fuck anyone, don’t fuck anyone. If it’s negotiable, negotiate. ALWAYS COMMUNICATE OPENLY ARGH
  16. resignedtobravery answered: I reblogged and added some personal comments vis-a-vis my own life, too long to retype here.
  17. resignedtobravery reblogged this from mohandasgandhi and added:
    The video raises interesting points but I want to f**king throttle the commentator who talks about the inevitability of...
  18. solarstorm answered: Well if you change partner every few years then you can stay monogamous and not cheat. Relationships get boring around 1-2 years anyways.
  19. tigersmilk answered: there are definitely multiple ways.
  20. thelittlemermaid reblogged this from mohandasgandhi and added:
    Related to my interests… to read/water later.
  21. silentapostacy answered: This appears to be a case where social and cultural identity bypasses basic evolutionary biology. Primal nature doesn’t justify human egotism
  22. ayoung reblogged this from anytimewilldomylove and added:
    Yes. If a couple has agreed to do their own thing, and are clear with their expectations, they can do what they want,...
  23. iconoclasticallyqueer answered: Monogamy as a an ideal and one right way to live is obsolete, but it’s just as valid as a healthy relationship option - among many options.
  24. depressedpizza answered: I think there are many ways to make a relationship work. Monogamy is not the only option, but lying? Is unnecessary, and just… not cool.
  25. anytimewilldomylove reblogged this from mohandasgandhi and added:
    Monogamy is by no means obsolete, but it’s something I think people are over-thinking in terms of other people; these...
  26. lusciouschaos answered: it’s easy to say there’s no way you’d cheat. when given the right circumstances, it’s very hard to abstain. probably a social construct.
  27. sweetupndown9 said: I say let people choose what works for them. If you want to be monogamous be monogamous. If you want to be in an open relationship be in one. -shrug-